De-escalation: from spike to steady.

Pause, pray a line, and choose a better next move.

TL;DR

  • Name the anger without justifying it.
  • Breathe and pray one short verse.
  • Choose one calm action (delay, step away, gentle reply).

Scripture to stand on

  • Proverbs 15:1: A gentle answer turns away wrath.
  • Ephesians 4:26: Be angry and do not sin; don’t let it rule the day.
  • James 1:19-20: Quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

A simple plan

  1. Name it out loud
    Like labeling a file before you sort it: ‘I’m angry.’ No blame, just the fact.
  2. Breathe + verse
    Inhale 4, exhale 6 while praying: ‘Create in me a clean heart’ (Ps 51:10) or ‘Lord, have mercy.’
  3. Delay your words
    Install a verbal ‘airplane mode’: count to 30. If needed: ‘Give me a minute to respond well.’
  4. Choose a better next move
    Like changing lanes safely: step away, draft a calm message, or ask one clarifying question.
  5. Review later
    When calm, note what triggered you and one better response for next time.

Try this now

  • Start ‘Self‑control in 120 seconds’ micro‑challenge.
  • Save Prov 15:1 to your bookmarks for quick recall.

If this is your week…

Practice the 120‑second pause daily, even when calm, to build the reflex before you need it.

When it’s hard

If you explode, apologize fast. Own your part. Pray the same verse and restart the 120‑second plan.

FAQs

Isn’t some anger justified?
Yes, but righteous anger stays aimed at the right thing and stays under control.
What if the other person keeps pushing?
Set a boundary: ‘I want to talk well. Let’s take 10 minutes and come back.’
anger challenges virtue